Lately I’ve been coming across the obstacle of parents wanting their child “fixed” . We can’t fix what isn’t broken.
As parents we have to understand that our child does not need to be fixed , they are amazing little beings who have their own opinions , thoughts and idea’s… Sometimes these need shaping , sometimes they might not be completely logical. Sometime they might be dangerous…
But we must first respect their opinions and idea’s and approach correcting them with as much respect as we would want from our boss or co-worker or partner .
This doesn’t mean the correction isn’t needed , it’s more about our approach to doing so . This is how we learn.
Secondly – Parents must come to the resolution within themselves that if a child needs to make changes , then we the parent also need to make changes . A child does not work independently from us, they are not built to do that , not yet .
I don’t think any parent expects this , but I do find they might forget this.
Think of a Family as a mobile – if you touch one part of the mobile they all move .. this is the same for any counselling that goes on within a Family . A Family is so interconnected that it is impossible to expect one part of the family to undergo change without the rest of the family ( or mobile ) also reacting and changing at the SAME TIME . There is no “first , second or third” to move. It all happens at once.
Depending on the age of your child it may feel like you are the one doing most of the changing , this may actually be the case , but this is only because you are their guide , their lifeline , their pillar to success . Most times a parent needs to show the example of change so their child has something to follow .
Otherwise everything is changing without any real direction. This is chaotic to a child.
Helping a child change negative behaviours and navigate mental health is a difficult task – one that all members of the Family must face and work together to achieve . This is the only way you can expect real and life long change .