I was recently working with a family who was at their wit’s end,.They had given up and had claimed that they had tried everything with their child. They were sick of “Therapy”
I try my best to listen and believe these families when they express this. It is their experience and they are feeling completely burnt out and sick of being given suggestions. It’s my job to start to do things differently.
So I do.
Instead of going to their home and providing standard strategies, and therapy, I just help..
Help with dinner, help with minding the younger children if need be, help with occupying the kids so mom or dad can have a break…
Whatever it is that was going to be helpful that day, I’ll do.
You may wonder how this is me doing my job, well I will tell you.
The reason I decided to do “In Home Family Work” and NOT have a child come to an office, is simple.
I want them to be comfortable.
People who are comfortable, display their true selves. So if I want a child to show me their truest self, including the maladaptive behaviour that the family has hired me to help with,
I need them to be comfortable.
So we play. We work on homework. We clean a room or do a chore together and THEN I begin to see whats important.
I then see Johnny lose his cool over his chore and then I can REALLY intervene.
I help mom cook dinner and set the table. She begins to open up about her fears and her strengths.
Now I can start to build on that and help mom regain her confidence again.
I begin to understand why things haven’t worked in the past.
THAT is when we see change.
Providing Families and Children with the support to make life long change isn’t always about evidence based strategies and proven theories, sometimes it’s more about creating the space for moms, dads, and kids to finally feel comfortable with the person they are working with, this alone is so valuable, and too often overlooked.